I used this phrase just after Dad died to update my Facebook status. It read something like’ we’re adjusting to find our new normal’. I’m amazed at the response it’s received.<\/p>\n
I first heard this phrase after I lost my job a couple of years ago… during that big economic crash. I was attending a transitions course and that was one of the phrases they used. After all, losing a job is like losing a close family member. Your world changes and so does your perception of your personal identity. <\/p>\n
Allow me to get philosophical for a minute.<\/strong><\/p>\n Ideally we should always be striving for a new normal. Moving forward and not letting ourselves sit complacently by while the world revolves around us. Because quite frankly, <\/p>\n when the world revolves around us, it means we’re the only ones not moving<\/strong>. <\/p>\n I found a new normal when I graduated from High School, another after University and my wedding. New normals don’t always have to be to be because of bad things. A new baby creates a new reality as does having that child leave home as an adult, excited about making their own way in the world. <\/p>\n These are things to be celebrated<\/strong>.<\/p>\n So, what do I have to celebrate about my father’s death?<\/strong><\/p>\n Well, celebrate his life for one. If there was no him, there would be no me.<\/p>\n I choose to celebrate the way he lived and even the way he died. <\/p>\n I don’t mean celebrate with party hats and cake. but to be thankful and grateful. <\/p>\n He’s dead, why be grateful?<\/strong><\/p>\n I choose to be grateful that he was able to hold on until I got home and was able to say goodbye and the speed of his demise after that. I realize that wanting to be home was all about me and my ability to cope.<\/p>\n I’m grateful that my father was a man I could be and still am proud of. <\/p>\n I’m grateful that my coming home has been a comfort and not an inconvenience. <\/p>\n You’ll notice I added in the phrase “I choose.”<\/strong><\/p>\n That dear friends is the key.<\/strong><\/p>\n The situation will not change. I can only adjust my reaction to it. I can wail and pound my head against the wall but it will only give me a headache, not change what has happened.<\/p>\n So instead I make sure others are looked after, those who choose to wail and flail are given aspirin – and eventually a soundproof room. While I learn my lesson, treasure my memories and move on in my ‘New Normal’.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I used this phrase just after Dad died to update my Facebook status. It read something like’ we’re adjusting to find our new normal’. I’m amazed at the response it’s received.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[109],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-deathofmydad"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1031"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1281,"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031\/revisions\/1281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/suenelsonbuckley.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}