It’s been quite the week and despite the death of my father, it hasn’t been all bad.
- You may not be able to go home again, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a visit.
- I’ve been able to walk on some of my favourite beaches without having to freeze my butt off.
- Weddings and funerals seem to bring out all the old friends you haven’t seen in a while.
- You have a chance to re-evaluate your life and change its direction if you find you’ve gone off course
It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that it has only been a week since I arrived home. It seems like much longer.
It’s still all surreal.
There isn’t much sadness in my mother’s house. Life had gone on there is teasing and joking. Often we’ll pause and we look at each other and wonder if it wasn’t all just a horrible dream.
Maybe I should rephrase that, there is much sadness but it’s not overwhelming. We all have our moments when we remember Dad isn’t just outside working. The shock is wearing off. We’re all aware that the reality hasn’t completely sunk in and that each of us will crack in a different point and in a different way any number of times over the next few years.
I’ve already cried more this past week than I have in a decade and I know there is more to come.
Perhaps this is easier to deal with because Mom has said a few times that neither she nor Dad had any regrets. They lived their lives according to their beliefs and ethics and judging by the full church at Dad’s funeral, this was appreciated by more than just my brothers and I.
Perhaps this is also easier because death and funerals have been recent topics of conversation between my parents, brothers and I. Mom and Dad spent time this spring updating their wills and legal documents to ensure everything was in place.
In the aftermath of Dad’s death, there has been no panic or guesswork.
With that little bit of preparation, this week was able to be devoted to looking after each other and dealing with the emotional aspects of Dad’s death instead of worrying about Mom’s future.
Time for me to make sure I have every thing done too… I’m not getting any younger no matter how ‘not-even-close-to-my-age’ I look.
Points finger toward the audience reading this, “Have you?”
*looks intently at her feet* Dangit! You pointed right at me! Ok, so no. We have some things covered, like life insurance. But, neither me nor my husband have our wills drawn up. We have the do-it-yourself kit and even though I’ve attempted to go through the documents, I find the whole prospect too overwhelming for me to handle. So, the forms are all saved on my desktop at home, and I find it discourages me from using my desktop at all. But, really we should get on top of it and get some paperwork filled out.